Stop, Look and Listen

STOP: I am so grateful for this time off the past few weeks. As much as I would have liked to skip over the whole sick part, I will take it for the beautiful time I have had resting.
LOOK: It is Fall! It is cooling off outside and the weather is just magnificent. So beautiful to go outside, sit on the swing with my Bible and a book and read while listening to the birds sing and feel to cool breeze with the sun shining on my face. I really wanted to get out of the house yesterday, so I went to get a haircut. I was tired of feeling frumpy ;) It happens when you don't feel super-great for several weeks, you want to feel comfortable and that's not usually pretty. So, a haircut would be good and a nice chance to get out of the house. After the haircut I walked to the town square while I was waiting for my sister to pick me up. The sun was shining and it was a little warm. There is a very nice fountain in the square which was so inviting... and no one to yell at me, so I sat on the edge with my feet in the water. I sat there basking in the beauty that He shows to me every day, yet I am usually to busy to see and grateful for a forced break to notice it. Today Jenny took me to a church here in town that sells pumpkins and we bought four cute pumpkins in varying sizes for only 4.50. I already baked one and made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and will think of something creative to bake tomorrow. The other three pumpkins are providing festive decorations around the house right now. Then we went to the park and ate sandwiches and sat by the river. I am really enjoying slowing down and doing some things that I am always too busy for. Today's agenda, besides the pumpkin stuff was planting a dying flower--I really hope it will revive itself! Maybe I'm not a green-thumb, but a little practice never hurt! Then I baked honey wheat bread! I'm super-proud of myself for that one! I have never made bread without a bread machine and it actually turned out really good and everyone thought it was very yummy. Maybe I should open a bakery :)
LISTEN: This time has also been so wonderful to enjoy God and to be silent before Him. Sometimes I get so busy doing things for Him that I forget to enjoy Him. It has been so nice to sit down with my Bible and read it. Not for a Bible study that I am going to give later. Not to keep up with everyone in our weekly readings, but just to hear from Him. He does still speak through it into my life. Into the things I have been struggling with. Not that I have gotten it down, but I have been challenged in several areas, the greatest in knowing HIM. In really knowing HIM, not just because of what people say, but for it to be my personal relationship with Him. Nothing fake, but a real, genuine relationship with Him. It is a struggle sometimes to pretend that everything is perfect in my relationship with God, but that's the idea the people have. Especially with the fact that I'm in ministry, I should have a perfect relationship with God and I should know everything. I'm not and I don't. I'm learning, I'm far from perfect, but I want to continue growing and to know that I will never arrive, but I want to persevere.
I have been pondering this passage for several weeks: "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."--ICor.9:24-27 I'm not exactly sure what Paul meant by it, but it has challenged me to not just preach, but to live what I preach. I don't want to be living anything false, whatever comes out of my mouth I want to be truth, not just in fact, but as an outpouring of my life because that is truly what I believe.

the not-so happy appy

Sometimes you are made to take a break not of your own will. Which can lead to frustration and well, frustration. It was over two weeks ago when I first got sick. Vomiting, nausea and a good dose of stomach pain. First I thought it was the flu. Then after I would normally be over it, I was still having a lot of pain and nausea. That is not normal and I resigned myself to the fact that it might be something more. After several days of waiting and testing, they discovered that I needed to go get my appendix removed. Not my idea of a fun Friday night, but neither was laying around in pain, so we went to the ER and they scheduled the surgery for the following day at 2. I wasn't really nervous about the surgery, I was intrigued by everything that was going on. Especially when the Drs would tell me what was going on in my body and what they would do to make me all better. The operating room also was pretty cool; I remember thinking that the only time I'd seen anything like it was in the movies and then I fell right to sleep and don't remember anything until I woke up feeling kind of high. Kevin and Hannah came and prayed with me and then the family came. Dad gave me flowers and the kids made me a huge card full of jokes... I had to wait a few days to read it because it hurt too much to laugh. I was pretty groggy but very grateful that they all came to see me. I slept until the following day. Peter and Nicole and the girls came to visit as well as Tim and Pamela and Bridgette and Logan and then mom and dad and the siblings. They sent me home Monday with orders for a low-calorie, low-fat diet and said I could go back to work whenever. I figured that on Wednesday I would be well enough to go back to work, so I did. It was harder than I thought, but I'm pretty tough so I did it. On Thursday in the middle of Forge I decided that it was probably not the best idea I had every had to return to work so fast. I ended up being sick all night and then all day Friday. Back to the med clinic for an IV because I was pretty dehydrated. They thought I had an infection and sent me back to the ER. Grrr... They did tests on Saturday and sent me home, only to call me Sunday and tell me to come back because they thought there was an infection. I stayed overnight and this time, being more alert, tried to have a better attitude. I took my Bible, book and ipod. The very funny and nice nurse gave me some flowers and entertained mom and I for a while, which we appreciated a lot! Rachel came to visit a few times, I was really glad she doesn't have a job so she could do that! I appreciated her company a lot! This time when the released me they said to take off at least a week. I was only too happy to comply if it meant that I will not be back in the hospital! I am so grateful for all of the medical professionals! They were all very kind and I felt like they really cared about me and getting me better--including keeping my spirits up. From the nurse who was trying to convince mom and I that we were hippie chicks to the guy in radiology who covered me up with an extra blanket for the bumpy ride back to my room to the Dr. who would share scriptures with me every time he came to visit. What if I took the time to ensure that everyone who interacted with me felt better because I took the time to care and to simply show them that they are loved.
...More on this experience later...